Just like Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, I’m here to tell you how to lose your car keys in 10 seconds.

Sure, car keys and Matthew McConaughey aren’t nearly the same level of attractiveness, or even usefulness, but the concept is the same.

Here’s how you do it:

  • Just be a dumb bitch like me.
    • Did you just have the keys in your hand like, 10 seconds ago? Now they are mysteriously not in your hand, or on the kitchen counter, or the side table, or the couch, or on the floor, or in the baby’s carseat? They are gone. Forever. Don’t you wish you had one of those key trackers you can never convince yourself to buy? You know, those ones that come with a cell phone app and you thought ‘huh, that seems unnecessary to add another app’ when you first saw it. Yeah you should have gotten that app. Oh wait, here are your keys, they are in the ignition, you are a dumb bitch.

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